Home Alone
by jibbsloversunited
Summary: Gibbs and a dog. Jenny's dog, to be precise. This is a story featuring Nero - the puppy who appeared in the AU story 'Caveat'. And it is crack!fic. No more no less. A oneshot by Elflordsmistress.


**Author's note:**

By no means is this oneshot to be taken seriously. It is crack!fic – and is to be read as such. Quite possibly it is the silliest thing I have ever written, but it may well be good for a giggle. And we are all entitled to our moments of lunacy.

I should also add that it's a gift for **_4sweetdreams_**.

This might not make much sense if you haven't read _Caveat, _so - in a nutshell - Nero is a dog that Abby gave Jen when her cat was killed by a serial killer. In this story Jen (a medical examiner in this universe) is out of state at a symposium.

_____________________________________

"Need a favour."

"What did he do this time?" Fornell replied, his mouth falling open as he listened to what Gibbs had to say. "You're kidding me right? Because there is no way I'm doing this. So here's the deal. I'll watch the dog while you go out and do it. Or better still take the dog with you and go out and do it."

At the other end of the phone Gibbs shook his head.

"He's attached to me at the hip. And I can't take him anywhere. He's humping everything in sight."

"That include your hip?" When Gibbs didn't answer he added, "Why can't you ask Abby or Ziva? They're women."

"If I told Abby she'd probably just encourage him."

"And Ziva?"

"Not going there, Tobias."

"How bad is it, Jethro?"

"Bad."

"Maybe it's just a phase" the other agent replied, resisting the urge to laugh out loud.

"It's a fetish Tobias, not a phase."

"How's she handling it?"

"It started after she went away."

"Then it's a phase. Fetishes develop over time."

"You gonna do this for me or what?"

"Won't she notice?"

Gibbs faltered for a moment.

"I'll deal with that later" he said.

"How many do you need?"

"Seven."

"Seven?" Fornell echoed. "What'd he do? Start a stash?"

"Yup" Gibbs replied. "Found it this morning. Think there's one missing, but maybe she won't notice."

"You got any particular ... preferences?"

"Be creative."

"Be .. _creative_?"

"Yeah. Use your imagination, Tobias. Put yourself in my shoes."

"Oh that is wrong on so many levels" Fornell said. "But I'll see what I can do. You owe me big, Jethro."

When he had rung off, Gibbs turned to face the dog staring at him with soulful eyes.

"I'm going in for a shower" he said to him. "And don't you even think of stealing my towel again while I'm in there."

He'd just stepped under the blistering water when the phone rang. He pushed the curtain aside to find Nero sitting there, the cordless phone in his mouth - his eyes more alive than Gibbs had seen them in five days.

"You can't possibly know it's her" Gibbs said as he took it from him.

But it was.

"Hey .." she said from Boston. "Am I calling at a bad time?"

"Nah. Was just about to have a shower."

"Need a hand? I have about ten minutes before the next presentation."

The fluttery feeling of anticipation low in his stomach burgeoned into tightness as her amused and sultry tone washed over him. A lazy erection that grew at her bidding. He rubbed gently, coaxing an intimate and unhurried response out of his length. He watched as it filled out and lumbered upwards; grazing his hip for a while until it eased itself up completely. He leaned back against the shower wall stroking hmself with an open palm, resisting the urge to close his hand over himself. He smirked when her instructions sent his hand drifting to his sac, only to hear his own breath hitch as soon as contact was effected. The torture was slow and exquisite, but the five days of celibacy had been longer than he'd expected them to be, and he was aching already. He found himself ridiculously grateful when she guided him back to a more controlled manipulation and put him on a cycle of strokes that brought him to the edge.

"Easy Jethro" she whispered in his ear as his breathing became ragged.

"Thought you liked the heavy breathing" he returned, struggling to keep things in check.

"And I thought you loved taking orders from me."

"I do."

"Then you need to slow down."

He drew a deep breath of air into his lungs and held it inside as he drew his hand away and placed it against the cool tiles.

And that's when he made the mistake of opening his eyes.

"Jethro?" Jen asked when a few moments had gone by.

"We're done here" he said irately.

"You were almost there anywa-"

"It's not that" he huffed.

"Then what?"

"The dog is staring at me."

Jen suppressed a laugh with difficulty.

"And now there's someone here" he added as he heard someone come up the stairs calling his name.

"I'll leave you to it then. Speak to you later" she said before hanging up.

"Gibbs?"

"Be out in a second, Abs" he said as he reached for a towel.

"Hey" she said when he stepped out into the hallway with Nero padding behind him.

"What's up?"

"I came to get Nero."

"You're welcome to him."

"_Gibbs_ ..." she said in dismay, looking between him and the dog.

Nero looked at her out of big brown eyes and lay down at Gibbs' feet.

"I got him a gift certificate to this fancy dog spa for his birthday."

"His birthday?"

"Well .. yeah. It isn't for a few more months but I wanted to do a test run, you know? So that if he doesn't like it we won't ruin his day when it's actually his birthday."

Gibbs shook his head.

"He's all yours" he said as he turned to go back into the bathroom. "Go with Abby" he said when the dog made to follow him inside.

"What's the matter with him? Usually he gets all excited when he sees me."

"I don't know what's wrong with him, Abs. He's -"

He was interrupted by the phone ringing. This time the dog made no move to retrieve it. Before Gibbs could answer it stopped ringing, and a voice came floating up the stairs.

"You up there, Boss?"

"Yeah."

"Hey" McGee said as he joined them. "I'm taking Jethro to a playdate. Wondered if you wanted me to take Nero along."

Gibbs eyes grew a bit large at the mention of the word _playdate_.

"Something's wrong with him" Abby pointed out.

"With which one?" McGee asked in confusion.

"The _dog_, McGee" Gibbs said.

The young agent took a good look at the newfoundland puppy.

"You're right" he said as he crouched down next to him. "He doesn't look too good, does he?"

"He's off his food too" Gibbs said.

"What is going on?"

They turned to find Ziva coming up the stairs.

"I am going for a run. I would be happy to take the dog."

Gibbs looked at the three people in his hallway.

"Four, five, six, seven, eight ..." he began.

"I think he misses Jenny, Boss."

"Nine. Not bad, Di Nozzo."

"Awww" Abby said as realisation dawned. "And you're his only connection to her."

"Am I late to the party?"

"Perfect timing, Tobias ..." Gibbs said with a shake of his head, as he remembered gratefully that Ducky was on his honeymoon, and that Palmer wouldn't dare up show up at his house.

"What's in the bag?" Tony asked, waggling his eyebrows at the FBI agent. "Treats for the dog?"

"Depends on which dog you mean" Fornell began. "Need to know" he added when he felt Gibbs' eyes bore into him.

"You goin' with any one of them?" Gibbs asked the dog, trying to deflect attention from Fornell.

Nero merely looked morosely at him before shifting to settling on his feet.

"I take it that's a _no_?"

Nero lowered his head onto his paws, looking as dejected as he felt.

"I don't know which one of you looks worse" Fornell said a short while later, when the team had gone and they were having a drink in the basement. "Here ... maybe these will make you feel better."

"I send you out on a mission of mercy and you bring _these_?" Gibbs asked as he poked around in the bag.

"I got something similar for Diane once."

"Purple fishnet? No wonder she divorced you" Gibbs said with a shake of his head. "Want another drink?"

Fornell shook his head.

"Promised Emily I'd take her to the park. You wanna go with?"

Gibbs looked down at the dog, and if it was at all possible the dog inched closer.

"He really _is_ attached at the hip" Fornell said as he drained his cup and placed it on the workbench. "When's she coming back?"

"Not soon enough" Gibbs muttered.

Fornell was still chuckling when he reached the top of the stairs. And it didn't do much for Gibbs' mood. For a while working on the boat helped - but the dog's mood was infectious, and eventually he gave up on it.

Choosing to go upstairs and have his shower instead.

Feeling decidedly sorry for himself, and wondering how he was going to live through another two days in close proximity with Jen's dog.

To say that he stopped short as soon as he stepped back into his bedroom would be an understatement.

Jen stood in front of an open drawer.

"You're out already?" she said, sounding disappointed. "I was going to surprise you in the shower."

"You're home early."

"Missed you" she said with a gentle smile. "I was calling from the airport before. What happened in here, Jethro?" she said as she peered into the drawer.

Gibbs had the good grace to look down. Although his head snapped back up a few seconds later.

"Fishnet, hot pink, black with yellow pom-poms, green with white spots, leopard print and lace ups?" she asked, turning each pair of hiphuggers over once in her hand before leaning back against the dresser with a smile. "Either you found a new partner while I was away, or you're getting bold in your old age."

Gibbs cleared his throat as she sidled up to him.

"You getting bold, Jethro?"

Gibbs shifted from one leg to the other, finding it difficult to focus as she pressed herself against him.

"Not that I'm complaining, of course" she said, as her hands snuck down the back of his sweatpants and pulled him into her.

His body had just started to respond in earnest when Nero trotted into the room and deposited the missing panties at her feet. Jen took one look at him and burst into laughter.

"Are _you_ the reason Jethro bought me new underwear?" she asked as she bent down to ruffle his fur.

"I think he has some kind of fetish" Gibbs admitted slowly, thinking it was best to get this over with immediately. "I found seven in his basket."

Jen only laughed harder.

"Were you wearing them on your head again?" she asked the dog. "He likes to do that" she informed Gibbs.

"He wears them on his _head_?"

"Yeah. Lots of dogs do it. Toddlers too. Why? What did you _think_ he'd been doing with them? Actually .. don't answer that. I don't wanna know."

She walked back to the dresser with a wide smile on her face.

"Whatever made you choose _these_?" she asked as she held the purple fishnet ones up. Looking at him curiously when he didn't answer.

"Like them?" he asked as he pinned her against the drawers and made an assault on her neck.

"Want me to wear them when I come out of the shower?"

"Shower's gonna have to wait" he said hoarsely as he toyed with her shirt.

Smiling as she pulled his clothes off him and pushed him impatiently back onto the nearby bed. Straddling him still fully clothed herself. His eyes wanted to close as she rubbed him, but he forced them open to watch her remove her shirt and unfetter her breasts, gasping slightly as she cushioned them to his chest. His hands curled into her hair as she pressed herself against him and kissed him. But the moment she bit gently on his lip he flipped them over and pulled back to pull the remainder of her clothes off her. He turned away from her just long enough to push the articles of clothing off the bed.

A large _whoosh_ followed by laughter broke the silence and the mood.

"This not a _menage a' troi_" he snapped as turned back to find his access to Jen blocked by seventy pounds of Newfoundland.

But Nero simply looked at him impassively - before lowering his head onto his paws and settling in for the long haul.


End file.
